Sorry for not posting as frequently as most bloggers. It's hard to think that life can change so fast. One moment I'm on top of the world and the next moment, crashing back to Earth. Everything is turned upside down. Do we jinx ourselves by emphatically believing or stating something? Is the universe that cruel and perverse?!
These last 8 days have been a procession of bad news. Someone that I love and care VERY deeply for has been diagnosed with a possible leaking heart. I can't even bear the thought. My world will be empty. My heart is breaking into millions of pieces already and the future is suddenly terrifying in all its unpredictability.
In that same 8 days, someone I've worked with for several years passed away with his funeral scheduled for next week. If that didn't cap off the horrible week of news, my friend's Aunt who I have also grown to know and care deeply for is currently on a morphine drip drifting in and out of consciousness.
In all these years of not coming anywhere near the realm of deaths and funerals, suddenly I find myself confronted with three funerals and the idea of four funerals is heartbreaking. It's just all so overwhelmingly and unbearably sad. I long for the days when I used to happily state that I'd never been to a funeral and I had never known anyone that died. The days when death was merely something that happened to other people and their relatives and friends, just not mine.
When we're young, in school or university - all our friends and relatives are young. As we get older, our friends and family are older and we start meet people of all age range in the working environment. Suddenly we're not all innocent, young nor invincible any longer when death comes knocking at friends or families' door. People tell me that we will all die one day, it's only a matter of time. It doesn't make it easier to accept but it does reinforce the concept that we are all living that circle of life. We get born, grow old and will one day die.
When 2011 is done for, it won't be missed. It's singularly the worst year ever. With the deaths, my own close collision with death due to the driver who was daydreaming, it's going down as the year that won't be missed. The year that I could have lived without. May God bless their spirits wherever they may be. May AWHWMRH all rest in peace and may their spirits find happiness if there is a spirit life after death.
I am sorry to hear about what has happened. I want you to know that I am thinking about what you are going through, and hope that things get better and not worse.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your kind words. They have all left a part of themselves within me that will never be forgotten x
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